( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) hello ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
do you ship troyler

dennys:

we are a restaurant  

pandaexpressvevo:

bae: what are you doing? ;)

me: I’m in my mums car

bae: oh really what else? ;)

me: broom broom

dont joke about murder i was murdered once and it offends me

zoey1o1:

is it seriously almost february omg time sure flies when youre wasting your life

bewbin:

notbewbin:

bewbin:

god dang i am on fire tonight

 no u r not u make this up for note

image

bet u feel real stupid right now 

spoken-not-written:

SINCE MY GRANDMA WORKS IN A CLINIC SUPPORTING PEOPLE WITH AIDS/HIV I ASKED HER TO GET ME SOME CONDOMS JUST CAUSE I DON’T HAVE ANY AND SHE FUCKING COMES BACK WITH A WHOLE BOX

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thanks grandma

ramavatarama:

waywardvagabondslilcousin:

a woman has twins and gives them up for adoption

one of them goes to a family in egypt and is named amal the other goes to a family in spain they name him juan

years later juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. upon receiving the picture she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of amal

he responds “theyre twins if youve seen juan youve seen amal”

NOOOOOOOO